Well shithole companies always seem to have everything catch up to them sooner or later, right? This one was no exception. Other than not being paid well and not having benefits, I enjoyed what I was doing, however. I still figured I’d stay here for a long time and work into upper management. (This is an American branch of a VERY large overseas company btw. The reason it was shitty was mostly from the domestic management structure, not at all because of the parent company).
So I turn thirty. I have a good (questionable?) job that I like, a good sense of purpose, etc. etc. THEN it happens. Because of many reasons that are irrelevant to this story (some internal, some external), the company goes nearly bankrupt. Of course a bunch of people get straight fired. The (un)lucky few who don’t get fired, are bent over and put in “new” positions. Basically I was put in an entry level position and pretty much the biggest dumbshit idiot I have ever met in my life became my direct boss. You know the type…those complete fucking morons who don’t know how to do ANYTHING other than brownnose specific people in the company to get ahead. Yes, one of those. So the next people up my new chain of command are completely convinced that I am one of the most incompetent, unknowledgeable, lazy people on the planet. (I still wonder how lameasses can project THEIR shortcomings onto someone else???) In any case, you see where this is heading…which is basically to nowhere, with a left turn at eternity. Well I recognized this, so I basically figured I’d milk my salary as long as I could, and did the minimum amount of work to keep me from getting canned. There were no bridges to save here, and everyone else I knew was already gone, so I didn’t really give a rat’s ass about any morality. Of course since this asshole boss was lame, it took him a full six months to finally bust me in a way to fire me. And trust me, he was trying hard e.v.e.r.y. s.i.n.g.l.e. d.a.y. of those six months. In the meantime, I taught myself html on company time and built me a nice, shiny website for my new business that I was going to launch! Mind you this was 1998-1999 and the age of dialup. The internet was just beginning to come into ubiquity, and website design was an informal, self taught, trial and error black art.
My revenge on all of these know-nothings was that I had the knowledge and skills to simply start my own gig at the drop of a hat if I wanted to, but they never could in a million lifetimes. Sayonara suckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I do want to add a pretty comical detail to all of this. So as I said, this was the age of dialup, and it started to become a company-wide problem that people were logging in at their desks during work. (Remember, the internet was new, and companies for the most part didn’t want ANYONE on the internet for any reason at all during the day. There truly was nothing that could help you be more productive at work on the web at that time.) To combat this, a new digital phone system was implemented so there were no more analog lines to the outside, except for dumb managers who bragged to everyone that they had an extra dialup phone line at their command. As a punishment, this dipshit boss put me in the furthest cubicle away from everyone to isolate me and make me feel dejected and alone. Of course he is so stupid that he doesn’t realize that the department fax machine line (analog of course!) is plugged into an outlet INSIDE my cubicle next to my feet. Plus since I’m at the furthest corner of the room, nobody could sneak up on me and see what was on my laptop screen. Needless to say, I complained as much as possible to both him and upper management that I wanted to move to a better spot near everyone else, which kept me at the best cubicle in the whole building! 😉 This was immensely helpful with building my website and getting it launched!
Oh yeah, and all dumbasses in the chain of command above me all the way to the VP eventually got fired for being stupid. How about that for an Emperor’s New Clothes syndrome! And the company had to sell the HUGE building that they owned just to not go under…
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Anyways, how does this all relate to my braces??? Again, you can now see that I would be too busy to go to the dentist for them to scrape my teeth with metal picks. What the hell does that do anyways if you brush a lot???? I didn’t see any cavities anywhere, I’m good, thanks. Oh, and those wisdom teeth, they aren’t hurting anyone, they are just sitting there. I’m not sure where to go to get them taken out anyways. (I forgot to mention that during my employment at this place, another guy had a tooth pulled out and it got infected and half of his face swelled up like a balloon, and he had to go to the hospital emergency room. Ok, one more good reason not to deal with this wisdom tooth thing!)
Oh boy this is big trouble coming as you can see…